Nik 'n Tammy Quotes

If you don't get nauseated by these, you must be deeply in love yourself.

Tam: You're hugged.
Nik: Or is that huggen?
Tam: That too. You're huggen.
Nik: Y'know what Forrest Gump would say to that?
Tam: What?
Nik: Huggen is as huggen daaz.
Tam: [long, loud, groan] Dooooooooooh.

Tam: I feel like an egg.
Nik: [condescendingly] You are not an egg. You may feel like an egg, but you are not an egg. [pause] You’re a nut.
Tam: Are you feeling okay? Of course I am not an egg! Why on earth would you need to tell me I’m not an egg? You’ve been at the lab for too long!
Nik: [exasperated pause] You are a human being. A. Human. Being. Are we in agreement so far?
Tam: I think you need your eyes checked... because I am clearly an egg!
Nik: It’s the stress from the prelim. You’ll be okay after tonight. [pat]

[some time later, when Tam hits Nik with a pillow]

Nik: That’s not what you do to your boyfriend.
Tam: [Looks at Nik for a while, then gently pats him on the head] Good little egg. You will hatch soon.
Nik: [silent indignation]
Tam: I will turn you over in another half an hour.
Nik: I am not an egg.
Tam: Aww, you must be almost ready to hatch… I can already hear your voice!
Nik: I am NOT an EGG! [buckles]
Tam: You’re an awfully jumpy egg.
Nik: [scream] I am NOT an egg, I’m a Jenn!!!
Tam: I can’t wait to see your first crack!
Nik: You’re a tad too late for that. There’s already a crack. Guess where? [taps Tam’s head]
Tam: [giggles] Nope, you’re wrong. I’m on crack, and you’re gonna crack!
Nik: [screams]

Tam: When you’re being so sweet, how can I do anything but forgive you?
Nik: I hope there isn’t an answer to that one.

Tam: It was a rhetorical question.
Nik: Well, I have a rhetorical answer.
Tam: Rhetorical questions are not meant to be answered!
Nik: And rhetorical answers are not meant to be questioned!

Nik: I don't need to be told twisted bedtime stories. I AM a twisted bedtime story!

One of us : I don't think plants have a soul... they don't have eyes. Except the potato.

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